INTRODUCING TMIY

That Man is You! honestly addresses the pressures and temptations that men face in our modern culture, especially those relating to their roles as husbands and fathers. The program harmonizes current social and medical science with the teachings of the Church and the wisdom of the saints to develop the vision of man fully alive!

TMIY TRANSFORMS MEN

Hear from actual TMIY participants.

These videos were created by the local TMIY men - Paradisus Dei was not involved their creation.

BY THE NUMBERS

Independent research by a Faith Advisor from the Gallup Poll reveals That Man is You! to be one of the most life-transforming programs ever studied.  Research indicates that men entering the program in the bottom quartile on the Gallup Poll Spirit Commitment Index frequently finish the program 26 weeks later “well into the top quartile.”

True to its stated goals, this transformation is most profoundly seen in marriage and family life, men’s issues including pornography and balancing work demands, and a greater participation in parish life.

That Man is You! truly accompanies men and their families on the pathway to holiness.

Send us your information and you will receive an email with materials that will help you introduce TMIY to others in your parish. Materials include:

  • Introductory Video
  • TMIY Parish brochure
  • TMIY overview presentation

“‘Enjoying the program’ would be a HUGE understatement. It changed my life.”
- participant

Since its inception, over 100,000 men have successfully experienced TMIY! That’s because it’s …

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EASY
to get started

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FREE
to parishes

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EFFECTIVE
at forming men

“Personally, being involved in That Man is You! has brought me closer to God than ever before in my life. I felt a spiritual closeness with God…I experienced a spiritual closeness with my wife which sent our marriage to a higher level.” – participant

Starting TMIY at your parish is easy. Simply…

Starter Resources

  1. Core Team Manual – The Core Team Manual will be one of your greatest resources moving forward.  It is truly an A-Z guide on how to run a successful TMIY program.

  2. Sample Promotional Materials – You will find three of the main marketing pieces that we use to encourage men to attend the program. A well-planned promotional campaign goes a long way in reaching all the men of the parish.

  3. Core Team Access to the Class Management System –  Each core team member will have access to a class page that contains all of the support materials and tools needed to run a TMIY program. These include the MC and Facilitator’s Guides, the Weekly Slide Handouts, a digital copy of the Core Team Manual, the Class Communication tool, the Attendance Tracker, an Online Class Roster, a Name Badge Template, and the Session Bullet Points.

  4. Access to Paradisus Dei Video Player – Your access provides you with the ability to play weekly TMIY sessions without needing internet access.

  5. Access to TMIY App – The TMIY App is available to all men registered for Active TMIY classes.   The TMIY app contains the weekly session videos and weekly presentation slides.

Program Content

Men who attend That Man is You! consider the content to be the program’s greatest strength, rating it 9.4 on a 10-point scale.  Organized around a central theme for each program year and presented through the lens of 7 Steps that make it simple for men to follow, this engaging content is delivered in 26 sessions, divided between fall and spring semesters.

FOUNDATIONAL FORMATION

Becoming a Man After God’s Own Heart

Combining the latest science with the teachings of the Church and the wisdom of the saints, Becoming a Man after God’s Own Heart develops the vision of man fully alive. It makes an honest assessment of challenges facing men today and provides a practical path to transformation by focusing on man’s relationship with God and introducing the 7 Steps to superabundance.

The Battle Over the Bride

Empowering men to take the next step in authentic male leadership, The Battle Over the Bride focuses on their role as husband and their deep desire for self-sacrificial love. Offering proven solutions and practical methods, it provides an incredibly clear pathway to overcoming the pressures men encounter in going to the end of love.

Revelation of the Father

Taking a hard look at the realities of our modern culture, Revelation of the Father seeks to transform men in their relationship with their children. It sets forth the vision of a child capable of making moral decisions in light of significant pressure and integrates the 7 Steps with Don Bosco’s preventive method to help parents develop a “parenting plan of life.”

ONGOING FORMATION

The Vision of Man Fully Alive

The Vision of Man Fully Alive enables men to experience authentic freedom as sons of God. Through living the three-fold mission of abiding presence, joyful service and loving sacrifice, their hearts and homes will experience the joy that God desires. To sustain them on their spiritual journey, the men will be led directly to the three spiritual foods that Christ himself proclaims: The Eucharist, The Word of God, and The Will of God.

The Fight of Faith

The Fight of Faith equips and enables men to engage in the cosmic, spiritual battle raging in our day. Biblical identities will emerge to inspire heroic lives of service to a calling greater than ourselves. Contemplate the mysterious Will of God and discover a Kingdom “not of this world.” Embrace our true identity as sons of the Father while experiencing the intimacy and secrets of a deep and personal friendship with Christ. Uncover the ultimate truth that sheds light on all things: God’s own identity. Fight the good fight of faith to win an imperishable crown of glory.

All Things New

Christ didn’t say, “I make new things.” He said, “I make all things new.” The profundity of the Scriptures sets the stage for a renewal of mind and heart – a new creation story, a new Adam, a new Eve, a new covenant and even a new kingdom! Encounter God the Father. Meet your spiritual father. Enlighten your mind with spiritual truths that will help transform the world. Become a new creation in Christ and allow mercy to consume your miseries. Seize the day!

Thy Kingdom Come

Jesus did not say to the Jews, “I’ve come to save you from Roman oppression and taxation.” Christ did not promise a worldly kingdom. In fact, He said, “My kingship is not of this world … My kingdom is in your midst … My kingdom is within you!” The kingdom of God is among us. Indeed, it is here now. For where the King is there is His Kingdom. Let us live with an eternal perspective. Claim your royal dignity and inheritance.

The Light of Men

There is but one source of all light – Jesus! He is the light shattering the darkness of our day. To be in the light is to allow God’s light to shine through you and become manifest in abundant virtue. “In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1: 4-5).

Worthy of the Call

St.Paul begs us to live a life worthy of the call we have received! Though we are not worthy, by the grace of God, we too are more than conquerors. Let us first experience the superabundance of God’s love, peace, joy, and mercy so our hearts are ready to discover what we have truly been called to at our depths: called to mature manhood – called to joy – called to lift up our hearts and minds – called to bear fruit – called to unity and called to live a life worthy of the call we have received!

THAT MAN IS YOU! APPAREL

Clothing not only calls attention to your program, it also helps men feel like they are part of something special.


TMIY Polo Shirt, Navy

TMIY branded, attractive and comfortable, these Navy polo shirts make a great statement when worn by the Core Team on day 1, and by other men in the community any day!

TMIY T-Shirts

Comfortable and durable, many men enjoy wearing the TMIY T-Shirt to help promote the program and remind them that they are part of something special. These are especially great for special projects that the TMIY group elects to do together.

Send us your information and you will receive an email with materials that will help you introduce TMIY to others in your parish. Materials include:

  • Introductory Video
  • TMIY Parish brochure
  • TMIY overview presentation

FINANCES

How much does the program cost?

Paradisus Dei does not charge parishes for the program itself. However, all parishes will need to pay for the onsite costs to host the program. Onsite costs include program promotion, food and beverages, and potentially audio/video equipment.

How do parishes finance their portion of the program?

Parishes finance TMIY in a number of ways. The three most common ways are:

  • The parish pays for the program out of general funds or adult formation/education funds;
  • A financially blessed man and/or group of men finance the program for the parish;
  • The Core Team finances the program.

Can we charge the men to attend the program?

No. Paradisus Dei does not charge parishes for the program, nor may parishes charge participants for the program. Paradisus Dei is dependent upon the generosity of TMIY participants through the two donation appeals to fund the program. The parish is welcome to pass along the cost of the Participant Books ($10) to the men if they choose.

Why can’t the parish charge men for the program?

Paradisus Dei does not permit parishes to directly charge men to attend the program for two reasons. First, the program seeks to develop an environment of gratuitousness towards the men. A common statement from prospective participants during the promotional campaign is: “Ok, what do you want me to do for you now?” The appropriate answer is: “We don’t want you to do anything! We want you to receive something!” By not charging for the program, that response can be said with integrity. Second, TMIY has proven itself successful in “casting the net” more deeply into the parish than many other programs. An “admission fee” would discourage those men who are already stepping out of their “comfort zone” to give TMIY a try.

CHURCH APPROVAL

Has the program received Church approval?

Since TMIY is not purely catechetical in nature but seeks to help men encounter God within the context of their marriages and family life, the Archbishop of Galveston-Houston (Cardinal DiNardo) has determined that the That Man is You! Program does not need the Imprimatur or Nihil obstat at this time. Nonetheless, he reserves the right to submit TMIY for evaluation at a later date.

Does the program have the support of the Archbishop of Galveston–Houston?

Noting the fruits of TMIY, Cardinal DiNardo has endorsed the program for use at the parish level. His letter of recommendation may be found in the program’s promotional literature. TMIY has also received endorsements from Archbishop Charles Chaput of Philadelphia, Bishop Robert Guglielmone of Charleston, Bishop Steven Raica of Gaylord, Bishop David Ricken of Green Bay, Bishop Ronald Gainer of Harrisburg, and Bishop Thomas Olmsted of Phoenix.

Are any clergy involved in the governance of TMIY?

TMIY is guided by a National Leadership Team that is composed of clergy (priests and deacons) and laity alike. The clergy are drawn from parishes across the United States.

PROGRAM CONTENT

Who developed the material for the program?

The program content was developed by Steve Bollman based upon the Church’s traditional source of Scripture, Tradition and Magisterial teachings. The content was developed over the course of numerous years based on his extensive reading, personal insights and discussions with numerous theologians and individuals within the Church.

PROGRAM STRUCTURE

What is the structure of TMIY?

TMIY is divided into three roughly equal parts: (1) 30 minutes for a meal; (2) 30 minutes for the DVD presentation; and (3) 30 minutes for small group discussions.

May any of the meal or small group sections of TMIY be eliminated or skipped?

No portion of the TMIY program may be eliminated or skipped. Experience shows that the three segments of TMIY support each other and form an integrated program that is greater than the sum of the parts. Individual men are permitted to attend the program as it fits their particular scheduling needs. Therefore, it is not uncommon that some men need to leave the program before the small group discussion is completed.

Is it better to run a morning or evening program?

All other things being equal, experience shows that morning programs are more successful than evening programs since they do not encounter the same intensity of scheduling conflicts. Nonetheless, parishes must consider their individual dynamics and logistics. It is often not feasible to run a morning program in parishes where the men would encounter a significant commute to work following the program. In such cases, evening programs have proven successful.

What is the best day of the week to run TMIY?

All other thing being equal, experience shows that programs run on a weekday morning are typically successful. Nonetheless, successful programs have also been run on Saturday. It has been discovered that more men travel at the beginning of the work week than the end of the work week.

PROGRAM STARTUP

How long does it take to get the program started?

The amount of time it takes to get TMIY started varies greatly, depending on the parish. Some parishes have started TMIY in little more than a month while other parishes have taken more than a year. As a rule of thumb, most parishes are successful at launching TMIY in the Fall if they have formed their Core Team by the middle of Summer.

What happens if I cannot get enough men to agree to be on the Core Team?

The ability to form a Core Team is one of the signs that a program is “going to make it” at a particular parish. The Core Team needs to have at LEAST four dedicated men who can make the vast majority of the sessions. Ideally, the Core Team should have 6-8 men, which provides for back-ups when Core Team members need to miss a session and avoids placing too great a burden on any one man. The failure to form an adequate Core Team is an indication that the parish needs to move more slowly or combine their efforts with a neighboring parish.

PROMOTIONAL CAMPAIGN

Do we need to run the entire promotional campaign?

Yes, it is essential to run the entire TMIY promotional campaign. In a culture bombarded by advertising messages, TMIY must work very hard to establish itself in the mind of potential participants. Experience indicates that an intensive promotional campaign is only able to reach half the men of a large parish. Nonetheless, a discernment of the particular needs of your parish can be made with your TMIY Program Coordinator. The greatest determinate of the intensity of the promotional campaign is the size of the parish.

How much does the promotional campaign cost?

The cost of the promotional campaign varies based on the size of the parish and thus the amount of marketing materials needed. These costs are discussed in detail in the Program Materials section of the manual.

What do we do if there is a small response to the promotional campaign?

A well run promotional campaign is typically able to attract between 5-10% of the men registered in a parish. Although numerous factors may contribute to a lower than expected response, the most frequent issue is a lack of personal contact by the Core Team and Small Group Leaders and Helpers. Reliance on the promotional materials alone will typically result in a registration rate of 2% or less. In some cases it may be necessary to reevaluate the selection of the Core Team members and Small Group Leaders. The vast majority of men will register the last two weeks of the promotional campaign.

DONATION APPEAL

Are we required to run both donation appeals?

Yes. Paradisus Dei is able to make TMIY available solely through the generosity of the participants of the program. Successful donation appeals allow Paradisus Dei to continue to improve the program and make it available to men nationwide.

How does Paradisus Dei use the money from the donation appeals?

Paradisus Dei uses the money collected from the donation appeals to finance the development of the program and to pay for its operating expenses. To date, the developmental costs of the program exceed $ 250,000.

The three largest areas of developmental costs are: (1) Professional production of the program DVDs; (2) Website development; and (3) Professional development of TMIY promotional materials. The three largest areas of operating costs are: (1) Salaries for Paradisus Dei employees; (2) Travel; and (3) Administrative costs (promotional materials, shipping, telephone, etc.). It should be noted that the TMIY Program Founder, Steve Bollman, does not receive a salary or any other monies from Paradisus Dei.

AMICI DI GIUSEPPE

Amici di Giuseppe is a voluntary group for men to join that helps them grow in holiness through their vocation as husband and father

INTERNET USAGE

When will I receive access to the secure area of the TMIY website dedicated to host parishes?

Once the parish has received pastor approval and formed a Core Team, the parish’s TMIY Program Coordinator will assign a login ID and password, which provides host access to the secure area of the TMIY website.

How do I access the secure area of the TMIY website?

The secure area of the TMIY website may be accessed by going to the TMIY website at shop.paradisusdei.org, clicking on the Log-In button in the upper right-hand corner and then entering your login ID (typically your email address) and password.

Is it necessary to use the TMIY website?

Yes. The TMIY program is facilitated through the use of the internet. By using the TMIY website, host parishes have access to materials and information “24/7” and the TMIY Program Coordinators are able to spend their time helping parishes with unique issues and opportunities (as opposed to explaining routine matters each time to every parish).

OTHER PROGRAMS BY PARADISUS DEI

Does Paradisus Dei offer a program for women?

Yes! One of the most common comments from the wives of men attending the program is, “What do you have available for me?” In 2015, The Choice Wine: 7 Steps to a Superabundant Marriage was offered to parishes as a marriage enrichment program. More information about this program can be found on our The Choice Wine page.

Does Paradisus Dei Offer any additional programs?

We offer programs for youth and young adults (Hope Undimmed) and mothers and their daughters (Mother Daughter Retreat), plus live events.

Hope Undimmed brings together thirty incredible speakers for seven unforgettable sessions and one amazing experience. This set of seven DVDs attempts to help students to bridge the gap between faith and reason as it relates to the mystery of the human person, created male and female.

The Mother Daughter Retreat helps you deliver God’s remarkable good news about sexuality. Katie Hartfiel leads mothers and daughters (grades 8-12) on this remarkable journey that weaves engaging talks with powerful prayer and extraordinary fun to create and experience of a lifetime. This one-night experience uniquely supports church, school or home use. These products are available for purchase on our website at shop.paradisusdei.org.

Send us your information and you will receive an email with materials that will help you introduce TMIY to others in your parish. Materials include:

  • Introductory Video
  • TMIY Parish brochure
  • TMIY overview presentation